Back to Question of the Week Back to Archives Q: How can one respect elders? Why should one respect elders? After what age is one considered an elder? Where does the Torah refer to respecting elders?
		A: The question of how and why to respect the elderly of society is, you should pardon the pun, an old one, dating back to Biblical times. We have an explicit commandment in the Torah to honour the elderly: "You shall rise before the grey-haired and show deference in the presence of the elderly; you shall show reverential awe for your Lord; I am God." (Leviticus 19:32) The rabbis of the Talmud understood this in behavioural terms: one should rise and show elderly people respect in such a way that they will know that the honour is meant for them. For example, one should not rise out of one's chair before the person one means to honour gets within a certain distance, as then they may not realise the intent of the action. Other behaviours considered to show honour include not contradicting the words of an elderly person (unless necessary and important to do so), nor sitting in an elder's place. Finally, the rabbis specifically included the elderly of all nations in this commandment, to show that the wisdom one can acquire from life experience is not limited to Torah scholars, whom one honours even if they are young, according to these rabbinic sources. (See primarily the Talmud tractate Kiddushin, page 32b.) Furthermore, some passages in the Bible see old age as the reward for virtuous living. (Cf. Deuteronomy 6:2, 22:7, Proverbs 16:31, among others.) Whether or not we accept this as a literal act of Godly reward, we can understand it in the context of other Biblical statements which impute wisdom to one who has lived a long life and seen many things. For example, Moshe exhorts the Israelites to ask their parents and grandparents about the great things that God has done for the people (Deut. 32:7). The Talmud, on the same page cited above, even says that zaken, which means "beard" or "old man," is actually an acronym for "one who has acquired wisdom." To me, these teachings are an extremely important aspect of not only Jewish ethics, but a Jewish way of living. Our society is so ridiculously youth-obsessed that not only are all fashion models under the age of 25, but people in their 40's fear ageism in the job market. Youth is seen as vital, as creative, as unshackled by the conventional ideas of past eras (i.e., the previous decade.) Judaism, on the other hand, places a premium on the wisdom of experience; one who has lived many years has had the opportunity to study, to learn, to reflect, to ask questions and seek answers. These character traits are priceless and unique, and I believe that our speed and youth obsessed society needs to reflect seriously on the value of reflective wisdom as a balance against the impetuousness of the inexperienced. Furthermore, in consciously cultivating respect for the aged, one can overcome the shallow emphasis on narrowly defined physical appearance that has imprisoned so many in the Western world. When one can look at an elder and see the embodiment of Godly wisdom, then one is closer to the religious ideal of appreciating people for their spiritual qualities rather than their outward presentation. To me, this is one of the greatest challenges, and most urgently needed changes, of our contemporary world. For a more comprehensive treatment of this subject, I recommend a recent book by Jewish Lights Publishing, A Heart of Wisdom: Making the Jewish Journey From Midlife Through the Elder Years, edited by Susan Berrin. It includes many textual sources as well as personal reflections. NJL
		Got a question for Reb on the Web? Visit our Archived Questions SHOOT*! ("SHOOT" is the Hebrew acronym for SHe'elot OOTeshuvot (Questions and Answers), the centuries-old dialogue between Jews and their rabbis.)

	[Home] [Lobby] [Library] [Classroom] [Office] [Lounge] [Gift Shop] Kolel: The Adult Centre for Liberal Jewish Learning