Parashat Ki Tetze (Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19) for Sept. 2, 2006

This week's parasha study has been generously sponsored by Sam and Jack Markle in memory of their mother Bessie and stepfather Sam Slywowicz. Kolel appreciates the support of its readers .

God feels close when we nurture our relationship through prayer and mitzvot.

Study with Baruch Sienna

This year's cycle of weekly Parasha study explores what connections and insight we can find by examining the Torah portion together with the Haftarah.

We continue with the fifth Sabbath of Consolation (a series of seven special haftarot: shiva d'nechemta). These seven readings are linked to the calendar, bridging the commemoration of the destruction of the Temple and the exile from Israel. Like last week, there are phrases in this haftarah that Alkabetz borrowed in his Shabbat hymn Lecha Dodi: "Lo teivoshi... You shall not be put to shame (54:4), and Yamin u'smol.. You shall spread out to the right and the left (54:3). This week's haftarah combined with the haftarah of Re'eh from two weeks ago make up the haftarah of Parshat Noah. The prophet recalls the covenant God made with Noah (vs. 9) and like that promise, God promises never again to be angry with Israel.

Isaiah, son of Amotz is the most popular of the prophets for the Haftarah: fourteen of the weekly portions (in the Ashkenazic calendar) are from Isaiah. Isaiah lived in the southern kingdom of Judah in the latter half of the 8th century B.C.E. While Isaiah hoped that the northern kingdom of Israel would be restored (regrettably, the ten northern tribes vanished permanently), his prophecy was also a warning that to the leaders and population of Judah. 'You could be next if you don't change your behaviour.' Indeed, a hundred years later, Judah was conquered, but this time, a remnant did survive, and returned to Israel and re-established a new nation.

The prophets often compared God's relationship with Israel to the relationship of a husband and wife (see Hosea's haftarah in Parshat Bemidbar). This week, too, Isaiah says, "For Your husband is your Maker, the One called God of the hosts of heaven...The Eternal calls you "wife" again... (vs. 5,6). The image of God, as husband who will take back his divorced wife, symbolizes how Israel in exile will be returned to in triumph to Zion.

Rabbi Plaut points out that today, the metaphor of divorce is problematic because divorce laws in Judaism are not egalitarian. Only the husband divorces this wife. (Even today, especially in Israel, the issue of agunot -- women are 'anchored' to their recalcitrant husbands is difficult). However, even though it is troubling, in ancient Israel it made sense, as God and the people of Israel were certainly not considered equal partners in the relationship.On the other hand, I am not sure that the metaphor is any more challenging than the child-parent metaphor (Avinu Malkeinu: our Parent, our Ruler) that will be prominent in the High Holy Day liturgy that is fast approaching. Unlike the parent-child relationship, the key word that describes the marriage relationship (even in non-egalitarian or traditional marriages) is the word 'covenant.'

In fact, in Hebrew the wedding ceremony is called brit nisu'im. This Hebrew term may not be that familiar; the word 'brit' is probably more familiar to us from the ceremony of brit milah, or 'bris' (covenant of circumcision). Today, covenant ceremonies for girls are becoming more popular, and I remind our readers that girls too can have a brit, as the 'bris' does not refer to the cutting but rather simply means 'covenant' and it is the word milah that means circumcision. The Hebrew word brit can refer to two very important life cycle moments: birth and marriage. This may be a midrashic stretch, but I think the word 'brit' could also be appropriately used to refer to the "bar/bat mitzvah." In fact, I find this egalitarian phrase (bar/bat) awkward, and I am surprised that no one has coined the phrase 'brit mitzvah' to the 'coming of age' ceremony that is celebrated today. After all, that is an apt description, as the thirteen year old (or twelve year old for some girls) is accepting the responsibilities of the covenant and of the mitzvot (and the word 'brit' almost seems that it is composed by blending the words bar and bat).

I find it interesting that all three life cycle events: birth, bar/bat mitzvah (via this 'midrash'), and marriage are therefore linguistically or conceptually connected to this notion of 'covenant.' But how do the three life cycle events differ? Well, of course no one asks the infant their opinion. Parents make a unilateral decision to enter the child into the Jewish community. At a bar/bat mitzvah, or to use my newly coined phrase, brit mitzvah, the child has more of a say-- indeed the whole significance of the day is to acknowledge the child's transition from a minor into an adult member of the community. The adolescent accepts the "yoke of the commandments" (in traditional terms: 'ol hamitzvot) but this lacks a certain mutuality. It is only the brit that is in the context of marriage that refers to a mature, mutual covenant.

Plaut concludes with one more point: even if the husband/wife metaphor is generally inappropriate for modern readers, "in one major aspect it is as applicable today as it was in Isaiah's time. Love and trust need constant nurturing in human marriage, and faithlessness will destroy it." God, too, feels close when we nurture our relationship through prayer and mitzvot, and as we enter the season of teshuvah, Isaiah's message is as true today as it was in his time.

Shabbat Shalom,

BDS