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All things that grow old and become useless except wine, that improves with age. Hence a gift of old wine conveys a message of encouragement to old people, reminding them that in some cases, old age can be a highly desirable quality.
Baal Tiv Gittin
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Last week's instalment ended on a cliffhanger when the brothers were confronted with their biggest nightmare. Joseph has artfully re-created the scenario where his only full brother Benjamin appears guilty of stealing the viceroy's divination cup. Their painful dilemma: Do they let history repeat itself and leave Benjamin in the pit and return to their father like they did with Joseph, or do they stick with him (leaving their father and the rest of their families without food)? Judah breaks the impasse with an impassioned speech until Joseph, believing that the brothers have done true teshuvah (repentance), finally breaks down and reveals his identity. This is not the first brother-brother reconciliation (we read of Isaac and Ishmael burying their father Abraham together, and three weeks ago of Jacob and Esau's reconciliation) but surely the most dramatic and emotional. After their shock, Joseph sends them back, laden with gifts (including clothes) and gives Benjamin more than the others with a warning not to argue (I guess they never learn!). The gifts are to make sure that there is enough food for the journey to Canaan and back, as well to convince their father that Joseph is still alive (and well off).
Rashi quotes the midrash that Joseph sends wine to Jacob, because old people like wine. And being French, Rashi would know, since besides being the "Prince of Commentators", he made a fine bottle of wine, too. (The city of Troyes is in the Champagne region of France and Rashi was a vintner). Well, I think anyone would enjoy an aged, good quality wine. The supra-commentary Baal Tiv Gittin suggests that the implicit message of sending Jacob the wine, was that it sends the message that being old is a desirable quality. And that, unfortunately in our youth-obsessed society is a message we don't hear.
Rabbi Neal Loevinger writes in a previous Reb on the Web:
Judaism, on the other hand, places a premium on the wisdom of experience; one who has lived many years has had the opportunity to study, to learn, to reflect, to ask questions and seek answers. These character traits are priceless and unique, and I believe that our speed and youth obsessed society needs to reflect seriously on the value of reflective wisdom as a balance against the impetuousness of the inexperienced. Furthermore, in consciously cultivating respect for the aged, one can overcome the shallow emphasis on narrowly defined physical appearance that has imprisoned so many in the Western world. When one can look at an elder and see the embodiment of Godly wisdom, then one is closer to the religious ideal of appreciating people for their spiritual qualities rather than their outward presentation. To me, this is one of the greatest challenges, and most urgently needed.
The ideal Jewish society would honour and respect the elderly. On Israel's buses, instead of the message "Please give this seat to the handicapped or elderly" is actually the verse from Leviticus: "You shall rise before the aged [lit. white haired] and show deference to the old (19:32).
Methusaleh is famous for being the oldest person in the Bible, having lived 969 years (Gen. 5:27) . But another individual in this week's parasha is credited in the Midrash with living an extraordinarily long time: a little-known woman named Serach bat Asher. Her name appears in a usually overlooked list of names of Jacob's descendants (Gen. 46:17). In the list of those [male] descendants (12 sons and 53 grandsons) who go down to Egypt with Jacob it seems remarkable that only one daughter is mentioned. Surely there were others, but in typical biblical fashion, woman are often omitted from genealogical lists. She therefore caught the Sages' attention and imagination who picture her as a beautiful and talented young girl. But even more extraordinary, is that her name is again mentioned in Numbers (26:46) in the list of those who left Egypt hundreds of years later! How is that possible?!
Rabbi Barbara Rosman Penzner in The Women's Torah Commentary (on Parashat Vayechi) brings three midrashim that teach us the gifts that Serach bat Asher possessed. First, she is credited for informing Jacob that Joseph had not died, but in fact was safe in Egypt (Mitzrayim). When Jacob was in prayer, she repeated in rhyme: "Joseph is in Mitzrayim, and has fathered two sons: Menashe and Ephraim." For this gentle and courageous act, she is blessed with a long life. Her father Asher also taught her the 'code' to identify the redeemer. When Moses returned from the burning bush, he experienced some resistance and skepticism; the elders were not sure of his authenticity. When Serach heard him pronounce the same code: "Pakod Pakad'ti: I will surely take notice of you," she was able to affirm him as the rightful leader. (The phrase is told to the Israelites by Joseph in Gen. 50:24 and then by God to Moses in Ex. 3:16. Serach would have been the only person who could have verified that information). The third example is the most famous; the Rabbis credit her with knowing where Joseph's bones are buried. The exile and slavery in Egypt could only end, when Moses could fulfill the Israelites' promise to Joseph, "to take my bones from here." But to prevent the Israelites from leaving, the Egyptians hid Joseph's coffin in the Nile. It was Serach who was able to show Moses where it was hidden. If it weren't for Serach, we would still be slaves in Egypt.
The midrashim about Serach even continue into the Talmud! Rabbi Penzner writes that the rabbis of the Talmud were arguing about the waters of the Sea of Reeds, and Serach bat Asher interrupted and said, "I was there. The waters were not like you describe, but rather like lighted windows." How can you argue with someone who was there?!
Lessons for Today
These midrashim about Serach teach us about the gifts of sensitivity, authority and memory. Because of her wisdom and memory this unique individual became a source of continuity, and according to one Midrash, never dies (like Elijah the Prophet). Memory is a powerful force, and old people who share their memories are a blessing for their families and the community. The 'zayde' or 'bubbe' who can tell their grandchildren what it was like growing up before television, or refrigerators, or about Jewish traditions or Chanukah celebrations that today we don't quite do the same like they did in the 'olden days'. There is a fabulous short film called 'Gefilte Fish' that shows three generations of woman preparing gefilte fish. The grandmother makes it from scratch; the grandaughter takes it out of the jar.
In our family's travels, we learned about the native aboriginal peoples in Australia. They have a culture of story and song that they pass on from generation to generation that teaches them where to find food and water in an extremely inhospitable climate. But when an elder dies, all pictures, possessions and even the person's name is destroyed, so that that person's spirit goes over to other side. Because each generation's memories are forgotten, they live today virtually the way their ancestors did thousands of years ago. In contrast, Judaism has a strong tradition of memory. The gift of memory together with the gift of old age is a precious blessing to the Jewish community. The oldest members of our society have valuable lessons on how we should live. We should not take the old for granted, but honour and remember those individuals who enrich our lives.
Shabbat Shalom.
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