Parashat Miketz, Genesis 41:1-44:17

Tears serve a multitude of purposes.

There is an old saying that seeing is believing, when in actuality seeing is interpreting. In this week's parasha, Joseph's brothers find themselves in Egypt standing before a great Egyptian official. He looks Egyptian, and he sounds Egyptian. Thus, they have no idea this is the same Joseph they sold into slavery. He doesn't look the part.

In a famous experiment conducted by John and Sandra Condry, two groups of people were shown a video of an infant bursting into tears as a jack-in-the box pops up. The group that was told the baby was female interpreted the tears as being fright. Those who were told it was a baby boy saw tears of anger. Not surprisingly, the Condrys titled their report "Sex Difference: A Study of the Eye of the Beholder."

In our society, crying is often looked at as an emotional outlet for women. Edmund Muskie lost the 1972 US presidential nomination in part because of his tears. In the Torah, tears are shed by both men and women. Hagar bursts into tears when she thinks her son is dying (Gen 21:15). After Sarah's death, Abraham proceeded to mourn for Sarah and to bewail her (Gen 23:2). Having discovered that he lost his blessing, Esau wept aloud (Gen 27:38). Upon first seeing Rachel, Jacob kissed her and broke into tears (Genesis 29:11). Reconciling after decades of separation, Jacob and Esau weep (Gen. 33:4).

But it seems that the most tears are shed by Joseph. This happens twice in this week's parasha, Miketz. When Joseph's brothers come down to Egypt, he treats them harshly. When he overhears their remorse, He turned away from them and wept (Gen. 42:24). Later, the brothers return, bringing Benjamin with them. Upon seeing his full brother, Joseph hurried out, for he was overcome with feeling toward his brother and was on the verge of tears; he went into a room and wept there (Genesis 43:30).

Tears serve a multitude of purposes. Lewis Carroll played wonderful games with tears. Alice of Wonderland fame sheds "gallons of tears" as she cries in frustration in the rabbit hole. Both the Walrus and the Carpenter weep in their escapade on the beach; the walrus shedding what we would term "crocodile tears" as he is about to consume the oysters they enticed to follow them.

"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."
With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

Rabbinic commentary has much to say about tears – but focuses on Joseph's mother and aunt. Recall that Leah is described as having weak eyes (Gen. 29:17). Rashi explains that Leah was constantly crying because of the midrashic tale that she was supposed to marry Esau. Rachel's tears are brought to our attention by the prophet Jeremiah:

A cry is heard in Ramah –
Wailing, bitter weeping,
Rachel weeping for her children.
She refuses to be comforted
For her children, who are gone.
Thus said the Lord:
Restrain your voice from weeping,
Your eyes from tears;
For there is a reward for your labor

– declares the Lord:

They shall return from the enemy's land.
And there is hope for your future

– declares the Lord:

Your children shall return to their country.

(Jeremiah 31:15-17)

Midrash Lamentations Rabbah draws upon this text, having Jeremiah approach some of the great biblical figures to plead before God to return Israel from exile. The three patriarchs fail, as does Moses. But Rachel succeeds in stirring God's compassion and God responds with the words from Jeremiah: Restrain your voice from weeping. Here the tears inspire compassion.

What of Joseph's tears? He cries more often than any other figure in the Torah. Jacob cries four time (Genesis 29:11, 33:4, 37:35, 46:29); Joseph cries seven times. Interestingly, he sheds no tears when he is sold into slavery. He does not weep when he is falsely accused by Potiphar's wife and imprisoned. Nor does he cry for joy when he is freed from prison and elevated by Pharaoh.

All his tears are related to family matters. In addition to the two incidents in this week's portion, Joseph sobs when Judah pleads to take Benjamin's place as a hostage (Genesis 45:2). He cries when he reveals himself to his siblings (Genesis 45:14-15) and again when he is reunited with his father (Genesis 46:29) He sheds tears of mourning when his father Jacob dies (Genesis 50:1) Finally, Joseph weeps when he hears that his brothers fear he will take vengeance now that their father is dead (Genesis 50:17).

Joseph's tears run the gamut from joy to anger, sorrow and frustration. Sometimes they are all rolled into one. Rashi says that Joseph cried upon meeting his brothers in this week's parasha because he heard their remorse. Sforno says he cried because he witnessed their distress. Midrash Sechel Tov by Rabbi Menachem ben Shlomo (Italy, 12th century) implies that Joseph lost all thought of vengeance: "tears extinguish the burning coals of the heart." The Netziv takes the opposite view, explaining in his commentary, HaEmek Davar, that Joseph cried because he couldn't yet reveal his identity, since he knew he would inflict further suffering on his brothers by toying with them in chapter 44. Nobel Laureate Thomas Mann has Joseph's eyes filling with tears of joy at the news that his brothers are coming to Egypt; he knew this would happen someday. But the joy is mingled with confusion. How will he behave? In Mann's classic work Joseph and His Brothers, he confides to his steward Mai-Sachme:

I don't know what sort of man I am. One does not know beforehand how one will behave in one's story; but when the time comes it is clear enough and then a man gets acquainted with himself.

Mann brilliantly verbalizes the conflicts that are contained in Joseph's tears. More than any other figure in the Torah, Joseph is multi-dimensional. We meet him as a youth, see him imprisoned, follow him as he is elevated to a leadership role and are present as Joseph deals with his brothers. Joseph is no saint. He is a man who, with God's help, can save nations from famine, and at the same time play cruel games with his brothers. But this is a man who is so real that he reaches out to us from the sacred scroll. He loves and resents his brothers at the same time. He has reached an understanding and acceptance that his life experience is part of a divine plan. Yet upon seeing his brothers, he cannot help but feel the strong emotions that have been imprisoned within him during his years in Egypt. No wonder there are so many interpretations of his tears.

Through Joseph's tears, one thing becomes clear. The most difficult obstacles and the greatest joys are not found in being a servant to Potiphar or second-in-command to the Pharaoh. All of Joseph's tears deal with those he loves. He might even be surprised at his tears, not realizing how important these relationships are to him.

If only we could be like Joseph. If only we could look back at the obstacles in life and see that they were stepping-stones, opportunities to better ourselves and strengthen our relationships. Then we would truly understand the words of the psalmist that they who sow in tears shall reap with songs of joy (Psalm 126:5).

Shabbat shalom and happy Hanukkah,
MS